Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts

Friday, April 10, 2015

The REAL Reasons Women Shouldn't Lift Weights

Hey there - just Lindsay today! As a fitness professional and a woman, I felt it was my duty to share this with you guys. In no particular order, here's the REAL reasons women shouldn't lift weights:

#1 You'll gain confidence. Like makeup-free pics all over your Instagram confident. CAN YOU IMAGINE?!



#2 You'll get stronger. 5 flights of stairs is suddenly easy. Lugging your toddler plus the 10 bags it takes to just go to the grocery store is no problem for your strong arms. WHATEVER WILL YOU DO?!

#3 You'll lose body fat. You know, the stuff actually related to chronic health conditions, your body's proportions, etc. But that doesn't matter because the scale won't go down as much.





#4 You'll look better in your clothes. Less frump, more tight. What will you do with all your Spanx?!

#5 You'll have a faster metabolism, which means you can eat more food. THE HORROR!






There you have it - you definitely shouldn't lift weights as a woman unless you want to be more confident, stronger, have less body fat, and a higher metabolism. Just the thought of those things makes me shiver.

In Health,

Lindsay

P.S. - kinda hope y'all get the sarcasm, but because one never knows, here's the disclaimer: THIS IS HEAVILY LACED WITH SARCASM. I *LOVE* lifting for all those reasons and more. GO LIFT WEIGHTS!

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Thursday, July 12, 2012

Priorities, Baby!

We don't think it is a huge secret at this point - but for those who may not know....yes, we travel an hour to and an hour back to grocery shop at a certain store, once a week, always. It's really not a big deal to us....we are constantly bee-bopping all over creation anyways....but it never fails to surprise people when they first hear it. Weird, but okay.

On our most recent trek, we ran into some cohorts of Timothy's. Chit-chatting commenced: they perused our shopping cart, asked why we were here annnndddd when we explained we make this trip every week, the jokes about "must be nice to have all that money" started up.

Outside, we looked like this:
Inside, we looked like this:
 
  












We were discussing this afterward and found what we think to be the best way to explain it. We will try our best to utilize this explanation/disclaimer, in whole or parts, in all future encounters:

"WOW, thank you for insinuating that a couple in their mid-twenties with no history of monetary inheritance must be rich because they shop at Whole Foods. It certainly can't be because we work hard and budget accordingly, no, definitely not that. We are just Richy McRicherson"

Okay - maaayybbbee skip that part, unless we are just overwhelmed with sarcasm that day.
 
Maybe it should go more like this:

"Yep - high quality food is really important to us and we can't get that at our local stores. We find that you spend your money, time, and effort on things that you deem priorities. For us, our health is the #1 priority, so we delegate a lot of our time, money, and effort into preserving and improving our health."

Now - in our perfect world, the person(s) would follow up with something like "Jeez, you're right. I want to do this too. How can you help me?"

YES! YES! We can help. Easy challenge: For the next month, track your expenses. Keep note of when you go out to the bar for drinks, grab some fast food, get some snacks from the vending machine, order pizza, etc. We bet that you would be shocked if you add all that up! If you really want to make the change without seeing a huge change in your budget, put all or most of those funds toward grocery shopping. Crap out, goodness in, no change in your funds. 

We really mean no harm, and we are sorry if you find this post preachy. We are not perfect, but we do try to keep our priorities at the forefront of our minds 98.978346% of the time and just want people to know that they too can do the same, if they really want to. 

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In Health,

Lindsay and Timothy